My best blatherings from 'The Scrivener's Fancy' are collected in a new eBook, available exclusively from this site for just six bucks!

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'Scarcely Relevant' tries to answer these questions …

  • Why did it take nine people to arrest me for fare evasion?
  • Who is the world's most up-himself novelist?
  • Why was I accused of embezzling money from a soap opera star?
  • What is the best piece of music to listen to in the car wash?
  • Can a new chocolate bar really be called a 'game-changer'?
  • How did I break two ribs without realising?
  • Why is Alvin Rides Again Australia's most disturbing movie?
  • Is it polite to mention someone's new voice, post sex-change?
  • Just how many Andre Rieu DVDs are there?
  • How many times can you be mistaken for Andrew Denton in a week?

all this, plus …

  • The Dark Knight in Run For Your Wife
  • Hope & Crosby in Cormac McCarthy's The Road
  • Anna Wintour edits Picture magazine
  • The future of cat videos

and my salutes to …

Laserdiscs, The Shining, (Bud) Tingwell, 3D, Withnail and I, Bill Hunter, DVD extras, Franklyn Ajaye and Stewart Lee, gentleman heroin dealers, William Castle and swearing.

* Earlier outbursts in eBook form …

Lolly Scramble

My 'memoir of little consequence'.

'Everyone who reads it agrees it should never have ended. Tony Martin's book is brilliant and funny. I can't get enough of it.'

-Popmatters best books of 2005 Get it here.
The cover of Lolly Scramble. Mainly Blue with iconic sweets organized in a grid.

A Nest of Occasionals

My 'difficult second book'.

'Hysterically funny, consistently insightful and surprisingly touching.'

- The Big Issue Get it here.
The cover of  A Nest of Occasionals. .